


Tony Stark is a Douchebag

by Bad_Wolf



Series: Avengers [2]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-27
Updated: 2017-02-27
Packaged: 2018-09-27 06:07:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9979748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bad_Wolf/pseuds/Bad_Wolf
Summary: I recently finally forced myself to watch Civil War.I hate Tony Stark for multiple reasons, this is one of them.Sam and Bucky bond over their mutual hatred of Tony Stark.





	

**Author's Note:**

> In this story, Bucky didn’t get iced after the parking lot fight behind the Walmart. Also, no one got arrested, they’re all living their lives after the civil war fight, trying to find a solution.
> 
> Also, 99.99% of soldiers curse like crazy. Sam Wilson is the .01%

At first Sam didn’t understand the significance of the short, inane snippets that Bucky said, even though Steve had tried to explain it. Sam, however, had the suspicion that Steve didn’t understand Bucky as much as he’d liked to; ergo Sam Wilson ignored Steve and continued to treat Bucky with the same terse attitude as when they first punched each other these past two weeks.

“Blueberry yogurt’s fucking gone.” Bucky doesn’t look at Sam, just continues to stare out the window, balancing a blueberry yogurt cup on his knee while spooning it into his mouth.

“Mm.” Sam opened the fridge anyway and swiped some cream cheese instead, he ignored Bucky and set to toast some bread. It was annoying, but Sam Wilson’d be damned if his manners went to hell just because he had to listen to swearing all the fudging day, that’s right _fudging._ “Want a slice?”

“Yes.”

Steve came in and set to cracking eggs into a frying pan, “How many Sam? Feeling hungry? You Buck? Ten? Twelve? Shit. Do we have that many fucking eggs? Buck, get the bacon, ham, pancakes if you fucking feel like ‘em.”

“Steve.” Sam tried really hard not to scowl, “I have a meeting to host today. I don’t have time.”

“Aw fuck, I forgot. Sorry about that Sam. Don’t worry, Buck’ll bring your breakfast down, he can pick up the fucking donuts too.”

“Steve.” Sam shoved a slice of toast with cream cheese into his mouth to prevent swearing. Was it Sam’s imagination or had Buck’s face twitched for a bare second, before slurping his coffee? Was he sleep deprived? Had he forgotten to take his meds? No. No. He’d done both those things, he could clearly remember both those important activities.

“You can navigate New York, right Buck?”

“Been doing it since I was four.” said Buck who only sprang to life with the reassuring presence of Steve in the room.

“Good. Good.” said Steve absently, “Then you two just wait for me at the center until I get there, then we can fucking carpool to the meeting.”

“What meeting? Don’t tell me Stark’s called another, fudging last minute meeting. Christ. I don’t know why I have to go to those meetings,” scowled Sam, “I’m not an Avenger.”

“Guilty by association,” muttered Bucky and Sam almost flinched at Bucky’s commiserating tone of voice.

“He’s right. Stark expects-“

“Fuck Stark!” growled Sam, “That son of a cock sucking inebriate doesn’t deserve my time of day.” _So much for not swearing._

Bucky audibly snorted into his coffee and Sam clenched his fist behind his thigh.

Steve sighed, turning down the stove plates to a simmer. “I know how you both feel about Stark. But there’s nothing I can do-“

“ ‘Less we’re gonna go rogue.” said Bucky, and it was that flat aspect that creeped Sam out the most. It never varied, Bucky could be saying something about his mother and then about getting his arm hacked off with the same breath, all with that same far away stare. It was creepy and it crawled under Sam’s skin, reminding him of his friends that had no way of returning to their previous lives, too far gone with memories.

Steve grabbed a spatula and split the mountain of food three ways equally. Not that Sam ever finished his lion’s share, but he suspected that Steve and Bucky enjoyed fighting over his leftovers. Gross. “No one’s going rogue. Now shut the fuck up and eat. You too Sam.”

Resigned, Sam sat down and picked his way through the food, he massaged his stomach, right where he had a weird dimpled scar from when Stark shot him point blank. It had been a nasty action that Sam vowed to never forgive, and after that vow he’d never been able to speak with Rhodey with the same familiarity as before. How could Rhodey be best friends with someone like _Stark_? Sam hadn’t even been attacking or trying to flee from Stark; but that didn’t _ducking_ matter, did it? Only Stark’s feelings mattered, and that’s why this impromptu Avenger’s meeting made Sam sick. How Steve could just gamely accept Stark’s acquaintance again. The idiot didn’t know jack shit of Steve.

The little Sam gleaned from Steve hinted that Stark had wanted Steve to hand Bucky over, to stop fighting. Sam snorted into his eggs, _have better luck screaming at the moon to stop revolving the earth_. Stark was a dangerous, influential idiot. And some part of Sam wished he’d never met Steve if he could escape being in Stark’s seemingly bottomless gravity well.

He took another bite of egg and washed it down with juice before getting up. Bucky immediately speared Sam’s the pancakes for himself, giving Sam an unreadable, flat look.

“You hardly ate.” Steve cocked an eyebrow at him.

“Lost my appetite.” Sam slammed the door on his way out.

...

Halfway through the meeting, Sam called for a break, and just like that, Bucky materialized. He somehow managed to balance three boxes of donuts on his arm as he pushed his way through the doors. Sam rushed forward, grimacing, and takes the donuts.

“Sit,” he says automatically, because that’s what you say to new people. And Sam is a little bit horrified when Buck _does_ sit down next to two other people. He doesn’t even pick the chair with the best defensive position, he just sits there, like a normal human being. Sam takes a calming breath and sets the donuts down.

They’re standing on the stairs outside of the building, Steve is late again, when Sam says, “You know you creep me out, right?”

“Mm,” says Bucky. Because that’s all he fucking says when they’re outside, his eyes rove up and down the street, glaring and measuring.

“I think it’s mostly the toneless, sociopathic speech pattern that gets to me. Are you _sure_ I’m not going to wake up with my throat slit?”

“Easier to stab you through the heart.” Bucky meets his gaze briefly before flitting back to the street, tirelessly roving across the area. “I don’t like Stark either. He’s a douchebag.”

Sam grunts, “You can have the dibs when we have to kill him.”

And Buck chuckles, once. It’s a short, raspy sounds that sounds like wood being sanded. And then Steve shows up in a pretentious extended Hummer with blacked out windows. Sam and Bucky glance at one another and head down, Sam slides into the car first and then Bucky follows him a bet later.

...

“Glad you boys could make it. How was the cry session? Lots of feelings exposed and soothed? Good. Good.” Stark doesn’t wait for an answer, throws himself into a seat and crosses his arms, keeps his eyes glued to the far window over Nat’s shoulder.

“Sam. Bucky.” Nat’s crooked smile greets them, “Didn’t bring me a donut?”

“Naw, next time,” Sam manages to answer, but he’s positive Nat notices he’s angry. The meeting only starts once they pick up the tiny spider kid, the _other_ bug guy and Wanda. Vision, Nat, and Stark already present. Sam allows what everyone’s saying to fly right over him and soon enough the meeting is over.

They climb out at the Avenger compound, Sam scowls. “Great. Now I have to call an uber.”

“Don’t worry, I can have my guy drive you.” Stark claps a hand on Sam’s shoulder and squeezes.

Sam has no idea why, but he whirls and sucker punches Stark in the stomach.

He sees Rhodey falling, plunging to the ground, the War Machine offline and of absolutely no use. Sam also remembers his own friend falling in the dark of night. And he especially remembers the feeling of Stark shooting him point blank as he’s frantically trying not to panic as he’s figuring out whether he should go get help or if Stark need hands to help Rhodey. He shudders.

And down goes Stark, wheezing and cursing. Everyone freezes, but Bucky laughs. A _real_ laugh, pulled from his belly and it bubbles up in uncontrolled waves. Sam uses the distraction to bolt inside the main building, up the stairs and into his room, not bothering to lock the door. With Vision and Stark and Nat, there was no privacy, no security. Sam shudders again.

...

Steve and Bucky walk into his room. Steve starts to say something, but Bucky cuts him off.

“Stark offered me an arm.”

“Ugh.”

“Yep. Told him to stick it up his father’s cock, thought it would be loose from all the humping he did. According to Steve.”

Sam feels his lips curl into a grin, “You said that?”

“Yep.”

Sam laughed and rubbed his eyes. “How many assault charges am I facing.”

Steve rubbed his hands together, “None. If you apologize. If you don’t, I think you’ll be under house arrest for a few days, don’t quote me on that though.”

“I’d rather eat shit.”

“He deserved that punch,” said Bucky, glaring a hole into the wall.

“I agree, but we can’t just go around punching people we disagree with,” said Steve and laughed when both Sam and Bucky stared at him. “I mean it, no more punching allies.”

“Until he turns on us,” said Sam and Bucky grunted in agreement.

“So. That’s what it was about?”

They all turn to Nat who’s standing in the doorway, head tilted, measuring Sam with that little smile of hers.

“You punched Tony...because you don’t trust him?” Nat always speaks as if she’s tasting the air, and right now is no different. Sam runs his hand down the back of his neck.

“No. Not exactly, although that’s partly it. After the shit show with the Accords and the fighting, that... I don’t know... that’s not why I did it thought-“

“It was on reflex,” notes Nat, coming to sit by Steve, “You didn’t even think about it. He touched you and spoke and you just... punched him.”

Sam groans, “During the fight at the airport. When Rhodey got hurt-“

“You thought of your own past,” interrupted Nat again, playing with the edges of her sleeves.

Sam glares at her and Nat grins, “Sorry. Lips officially zipped.”

“I flew back, I tried to catch him...” Sam squeezes his fingers tightly. Nat’s eyes are wide. “I didn’t make it. I didn’t. And I just stood there, watching as Stark checked Rhodey’s pulse. And when I asked what I could do, that I was sorry this happened, Stark shot me.”

Nat’s mouth thins into a severe line. “Just like that? Point blank?”

 Sam nods, “It was like reliving my own past, except-“ he touched the dimpled scar on his stomach.

“Except you were betrayed.” Nat delicately chews on her thumb, “You can go home. All of you. I’ve heard enough.”

“What are you going to tell Stark?” Steve’s already standing, but he asks anyway.

“Nothing. What could I say that would change anything. Sam’s repeatedly refused to be an Avenger and only works when you do, Steve. I’m going to tell Stark to stop approaching retired, paranoid soldiers to settle it. Go home you three.”

..............

In Sam’s house, Bucky immediately shucks his shoes off and collapses onto his bed. Steve retreats to the living room to read. Sam suddenly feels ravenous and searches the fridge for food, surprised to find some breakfast items still there. He picks up a book from the living room and settles down in the kitchen to eat and read.

“They’re all alike.”

Sam jumps, realizing how late it is and that he’s been squinting at the book for longer than necessary. He gets up and starts clearing his dishes. “Who?”

“People like Stark. The powerful money. All the same.”

Sam nods, thinking he understands. He starts to wash the dishes and something occurs to him. “You talk to me a lot.”

Bucky remains silent, staring at him impassively. Then he shrugs, “You remind me of Steve. Always fighting. At least you’re not so angry.”

 _Reminds him of Steve, what kind of goddamned compliment is that? Especially from_ him _._ Sam savagely scrubs food bits from the plates. “So. We’re like. Cool now?”

“Punching Stark is definitely cool,” says Bucky, and Sam could swear on his mom’s grave that Bucky’s mouth twitches.


End file.
